Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
