worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
