Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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