Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
