I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
