he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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