Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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