you win again, gameday.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
