So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
