Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
handjob tips. give me some.
Mom said you looked used
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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