this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
