it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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