just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
