I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
