Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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