How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
