We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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