waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize