I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
