We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
