Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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