you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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