Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
