I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
