she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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