fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
