i would punch a child for taco bell
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
