He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
