Sober January is a disaster.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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