Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
