It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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