what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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