She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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