He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
