he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You pole danced in your parka.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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