My nipple is on Facebook.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
