ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
