My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
did you just send me my own nude
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
