Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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