I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
