These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
