Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
now i know why i became what i already was.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
