my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
