after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
