anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Life is so much better after having sex.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
