Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
