I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
