we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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