The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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