was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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